Is the Delay in Marriages a Problem?

“Americans are getting married later and later. The average age of first marriage in the United States is 27 for women and 29 for men, up from 23 for women and 26 for men in 1990 and 20 and 22 (!) in 1960.”

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Why are people waiting?

Three ideas are,

  • Fear of divorce
  • Casual dating
  • Waiting for “The One”

Trust is an issue these days. Many millennials are children of divorce. From a young age, children are taught that marriages don’t last. Today, we also don’t find dating for 5 years as unusual. The media portrays sex as totally acceptable outside of marriage. “Live how you want to live” the world tells us.

The the happily ever after mentality is often on our minds as well. Through Disney, little girls are told to wait for “The One.”

Is the delay in marriages a problem? In general, I would have to say yes.

Delaying marriage results in more sex before marriage. More partners. More diseases. More single moms. More broken families.

I understand living under the fear of divorce. However, that is why I take so much pride in my faith. People mess up. God forgives us. We are called to forgive just as Christ forgives. Call me a traditionalist, but I believe God designed family and marriage for purpose.

Mankind has the tendency to believe that he knows best. When looking at modern day marriage, we see countless failures. 50% of marriages end in divorce.

JP, a speaker at the Porch, a young adult ministry in Dallas, often says that when we take our vows we should honestly mean them.

“I, ____, take you, ____, to be my lawfully wedded(husband/wife), to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.”

However, if what we really mean is, “…for richer, for poorer, until death do us part, unless you sleep with my best friend.” We should say it! If that’s what we mean.

A wedding ceremony should encompass honestly.

I think society needs to take a deeper look into what marriage is becoming. Is it a simple union? Is it cohabitation? Or is it something more?

I believe it is a covenant. It is a spiritual union between two people and God. We should not take marriage as some mystical occurrence like little girls. Nor should we wait and live in a state of limbo in dating. Causal dating has no real definition. What are you really doing? You are only serving yourself and you’re selfish desires. There is no love in that.

However, there is love through self-sacrifice. Christ’s sacrifice on the cross and a husband’s and wife’s sacrifice to each other everyday.

Are You Ready to See Your Fixer Upper?

Not only does Joanna Gaines have incredible taste, but she is also a role model for Christian women.

I love Fixer Upper! My mom, sister, and I all watch it together. Joanna Gaines has incredible taste, Christian morals, and a great story. Check it out!

Joanna’s testimony is inspiring. The hardest part for her was closing her shop to raise her kids. She let go of a dream. But in the end, God blessed her more than she could ever imagine. I’m not saying all women who give up their job/dream for motherhood are destined to head a million dollar show and brand. My point is Joanna Gaines demonstrates the self-sacrificing love of motherhood.

“Let God speak into your life. Let his Father heart come and say, ‘This is what I have for you.'”

A year ago I gave up a dream of my own. I am a planner. I make lists, set deadlines, and always finish my homework early. It makes me feel secure. I took pride in my 5 year plan of going into the medical profession. However, it only took one day for my pre-planned life to go to shreds. I was half way to school, bawling in my car because my plan was falling to pieces. You can’t plan every second of your life.

I so badly want to be in control, to follow my dream of becoming successful. But it’s worthless to become obsessed and driven for admiration, from world where everyone seeks attention.

Joanna Gaines gave up her dream for something more important. In ten years, what will Fixer Upper be? In 20, who will even remember the show? If the shows tanks tomorrow, Joanna will still have her family. Family is a gift from God. It is a reflection of his love for us.

I thank God for leading me here, down to this exact moment. He is my fixer upper. He took me as I am, washed away all the dirt, up-heaved all my insecurities, and created a new me, gave me a new hope, and ultimately a new place to call home.